Sacraments

In addition to blogging about figure skating and the media, I also want to blog about my Catholic spirituality. Part of the reason I want to do that is because it's still emerging. I'd like to write something about my process in returning to the Catholic Church, and I may soon. The short version is that I was baptised a Catholic, but at the age of fifteen, became a Protestant. I attended and was active in different churches for twenty-five years, until I was finally confirmed in the Catholic Church at Easter Vigil 2005.

My husband Jon, on the other hand, remains a Protestant. (He'a also a baptised Catholic, and like me, left the Church at a young age.) That's been some source of conflict in our marriage, as you can imagine, but for the most part, he supports my return to the Church. One of our compromises is that we'd try a find a suitable Protestant church that we can attend as a family, and then I'd go off and do the Catholic thing on my own. Not a perfect solution, I know, but it'll have to do for now.

This past Sunday we visited a church here in Moscow, a medium-sized non-denominational church (I think) with contemporary worship music and a focus on young people. A church like many I've attended before, with friendly, well-intended folks who I'm sure love Jesus. I'm sorry to say, however, that it did almost nothing for me. At the time, I wasn't exactly sure why. Jon found meaning in it, though. Will we go back? Probably--I'm not one for trusting first impressions.

It kinda bothered me that I left the place feeling so empty. I've been thinking about it all week. Tuesday night, I attended a adult formation class my parish (St. Mary's Church) is hosting for the area parishes. The current topic is on the sacraments; the last two weeks was a introduction to the sacraments, taught by Kathy Sells, who teaches eight grade at Holy Family Catholic School in Coeur d'Alene, ID and who has a master's degree in the sacraments. The most exciting part about this portion of the class is that we're praying through the Liturgy of the Hours, which has changed my own prayer life radically.

Thinking about the sacraments has helped me understand why I left that sweet church so cold on Sunday. The Baltimore Catechism defines the sacraments as "an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace." Perhaps this is a simplistic representation of Kathy's talk, but she said that Vatican II provided a more "complete" definition. My basic understanding of the sacraments is that they're a physical way for us to experience God's love and presence in our lives.

I realized my problem with this church with plenty of friendly, God-loving, well-intentioned Christian folk was that I was missing the sacraments. Sure, there was singing and lots of interaction, but heck, I can get that at a concert. There wasn't anything I could literally put my hands on to help me meet Jesus. The ironic thing is that Jon asked me, when I had to admit to him my reaction, "So does that mean you have to go to a church that's top-heavy in liturgy?" I had to answer in the affirmative, because it's become true for me. I suppose the Church has spoiled me to want and expect more out of a worship service. When all is said and done, it's one of things that drew me back to the Catholic Church.

So when am I gonna write about figure skating? Soon, soon.