Nathan

Last week, we lost a remarkable young man, Nathan Larson, in horrible tragedy. I'll start with two links: a news report about his accident and his obituary.

I unfortunately didn't get to know Nathan very well. He had only been a member of my Toastmasters club, Hog Heaven in Moscow, Idaho since this summer. He'd given five speeches; actually, he was scheduled to give his next speech this very week.

I heard about Nathan's death at church, when a deacon "announced" it during the prayers. My initial reaction, of course, was shock and disbelief. After mass was over, I even approached the deacon to make sure it was the Nathan that I knew, and after talking to him, I was fairly certain that it was. Then I went home, and true to my form, I researched it right away. Actually, I was looking for a picture, but didn't find one, but again was fairly certain that it wasn't another young man with the same name.

I'm Vice-President of Education for my club, so I sent an email to everyone informing them of our loss. I kept checking my email all day, hoping against all hope that we'd get an email back with something like, "It wasn't me! I've been dealing with this all weekend!" But alas, that email never came.

As a counselor, I'm full aware of the stages of grief. I know that on that first day, I went through denial and bargaining. I also know that the grieving process isn't neat or orderly. As I've said, I didn't know Nathan as well as I would've liked, but he had a big influence on my life, even after a few months of his participation in Toastmasters.

I have to admit, that after I read some of the news reports about Nathan's accident, I went through some anger, directed at Nathan himself. I mean, what idiot drives a 1990 Toyota Tercel in Northern Idaho? The answer came at his funeral on Tuesday morning, and was this simple: Nathan would. As was said during the homily, Nathan was a mixture of extravagance and thriftiness. He dressed sharply, but he lived in a cheap apartment in Moscow and was driving a car until it literally outlived it usefulness.

After hearing everything that was said about Nathan at his funeral, it occurred to me that his car was indicative of his personality. It was functional and served his purposes--nothing more, nothing less. What if he had been driving a newer car with more bells and whistles? Would he have survived? What about the people in the other car, which had three children in it? Would they have died, or been injured more severely? What if they had hit someone else?

In some ways, by driving that Tercel, Nathan gave his life for those children. At his funeral, it was said that was what Nathan was all about--living his life in service for others. I chose to think that's how he died as well.

One thing I always appreciated about Nathan was that he was who he was, with no apologies. He lived his life exactly the way he wanted. His uncle, who gave the eulogy at Nathan's funeral, said that Nathan was "eccentric." Nathan had his beliefs and convictions, and lived them out to the end. Both his uncle and the homilist, Father Caleb Vogel, pastor at Nathan's parish St. Augustine's Church, also said that Nathan loved the Lord and believed in serving others. He even used the car he died in to serve others, to the very end.

This week, as sad as it's been to go through this loss, I'm honored to have known such an exceptional young man, even for a few short months. I wish that there was more time to have gotten to know him better. I wish that I had the opportunity to see Nathan do great things in Toastmasters, because I know that he would have. Just last week, at his last meeting with us, I could tell that he was soaking in things and learning.

It was a joy, a privilege, and a pleasure to witness Nathan grow, even in just a few months. My life has been enriched by having known him.