Racism and rape

It looks like this blog has become more about my Wikipedia experiences than about figure skating. Perhaps when Worlds happen next month, I'll have more to say. The cool thing is that Worlds is in L.A. this year, so we'll be seeing more of it. As I've previously stated, it looks like I'm going to have to break down and subscribe to IceNetwork next season, so that I don't go to the '10 Nationals unprepared.

At the current time, I'm addressing some reviews about the Caged Bird article. The experience of editing that article has been an emotional journey for me in many ways. As I was re-editing some of the material about racism today (which I have off, at least until later this afternoon), I was struck with how inadequate I am to the task of writing about the subject. It's a bit overwhelming, and humbling. I think I got myself in way over my head once again. This is a characteristic of mine; I tend to take on things that are too big for me to handle.

At one point while addressing the reviewer's comments, I stated, "Who do I think I am anyway, taking on this article?" Here I am, this white woman with very little experience with the topic of racism. No, actually, none at all. No wonder I'm struggling with the writing, and it has more to do with my weaknesses as a writer. It's almost like my experience writing the "Organs" section of Stanford Memorial Church. It was obvious from my first attempts that it was written by a non-organist and someone who knows little about music. My solution in that situation was to elicit help from an editor who's an expert about organs.

Perhaps what would help in this situation would be to elicit an expert about this, a black editor who specializes in this kind of thing. Perhaps I'm already doing what I can, getting help from more experienced and skilled editors to get the prose right. What doesn't help is the fact that the topics (not just racism) in Caged Bird are so complicated, difficult, and emotional. I know it's been emotional for me.

For example, back in September, when I was in the research phase of the development of the article, I sat on a jury for a man accused of child molestation. (We found him guilty.) Now, I was aware of the kind of case going into it, but I thought that it would be a good opportunity to do some research while waiting for jury selection, and I brought one of the books I read for the article. I can't believe that I didn't make the connection between the rape in Caged Bird and the court case, and didn't even think that it may be an inappropriate book to read that day. Well, sure enough, I had to put the book away before the day was through.

My life is like that: I do research about a book that features a child's rape the very same week I experience my worst nightmare and sit on a jury about a child molestation case. It's not the first time a "coincidence" like that has happened to me. Racism, especially the way Maya Angelou describes it, is also emotional, and I'm finding myself having a great deal of difficulty writing about it. In spite of that, though, I'll finish improving the article, since I'm committed to seeing it pass to featured article, even if I am a white girl.