Point of explanation

A couple of days ago, I received a nice e-mail from a gentleman from San Diego. He congratulated me on the start of my blog, and then expressed concern about what I've shared about my marriage. I knew I'd have to explain it further at some point, so I'm taking advantage of the opportunity now.

This nice gentleman shared that he's currently in RCIA, but that his wife has chosen not to join him, and that it was painful for him. He was very encouraging, and shared that sharing some of my story encouraged him. I'm glad for that. As he said, not everyone who converts or reverts does so as a couple. That's very true, but it's not the entire story of my marriage and how my returning to the Catholic Church has affected it. Of course, I don't want to go into a lot of detail, for privacy sake, but I feel that it would be beneficial to explain my situation a bit further here.

The ironic thing is that when I was going through the process of deciding to return, all my Catholic friends asked me, "How are you going to handle a mixed-faith marriage?" My reaction to that was that it was a ridiculous question. See, very little of what I believed in changed. One of the things that attracted me to return was the orthodoxy of Catholicism. I was fed up with not trusting if a particular church's doctrine was faithful to the historical teaching of the Church, and of the Bible, for that matter. (Lint Hatcher has written a really good article about that.)

Nothing about my husband's orthodoxy had changed, either. So I've never considered being in a "mixed-faith" marriage. Even if we find a Protestant church to attend as a family, nothing about our faith systems will change. The conflict arises about my choice, one that he's expressed an inability to participate in, to attend Mass. Jon's supportive, and where it becomes painful, and to be honest, a source of conflict in our marriage and family, is that at this point, he's unable to accept many of the teachings of the Catholic church and of the magisterium.

I've dealt with the same issue, but have come to a very different conclusion. I may have some problems with it, but I figure that the magisterium are leaders of the Church for some reason. It's like believing in the Trinity. It's beyond human understanding, but I accept it because it's a teaching of the Church and because it's True. I may not understand much of the doctrine of the Church, but it's not up to me to pick and choose what's true and not true. Because when we do that, what we believe stops being the historical and Biblical Christian faith. It's not up to me to make that decison. That's the role and responsibility of the leaders of the Church--the bishops and the Pope. Jon hasn't come to that conclusion, and that's okay. I can't expect him to have the same journey as me. He needs to follow Jesus in his own way. For me, following Jesus is coming back home to the Catholic Church.

Sure, I look around at other families in Mass and ache to worship as a family. I pray for that all the time. But God provides--I go to Mass every Sunday with my mother-in-law. My six-year old developmentally disabled son has recently been able to sit through church, so we bring him along as much as we can. I'm thankful for that. Sure, I can pray that Jon joins us and brings our squirmy daughter, but I think that it's beyond practical expectations. On the other hand, we follow a God who works miracles. If you had asked me ten years ago if I'd ever become a practicing Catholic, I would've laughed in your face. So anything is possible.